she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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