My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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