Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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