new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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