I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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