I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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