Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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