is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
