I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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