While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize