Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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