He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
