no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
