Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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