Can i not drive my cunt home
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
