just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
