My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He passed out mid-signature
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
