we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
