Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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