Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize