Who wears a wallet chain?!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
