i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
