god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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