What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
