I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
