Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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