I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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