so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
