my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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