Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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