he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So apparently I’m into choking now
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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