You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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