So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.