Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
