I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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