i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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