I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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