Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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