I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
