you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
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I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize