is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
