I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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