i already hear my dad disowning me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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