All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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