he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
