So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bet he comes in French.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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