I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize