I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
