I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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