she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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