I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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