what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize