i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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