stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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