Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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