I think im going to throw up on grandma
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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