I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
